When the person you're closest to in the world, the person who was in the delivery room with you, watched for the first time as you nursed the baby, the person who was there through all these life-changing things, the person you were with when his mother died ... and then that person betrays you, turns on you ... there are many divorced women in the world today who say never again. I know plenty of them. I was one of them for almost a decade. It was hard. I mean it was hard to trust somebody again. And I think it will always be, you know, hard to let somebody into your heart.
Thomas Moore
When people’s hearts get broken or when they're betrayed or when someone betrays or breaks someone's heart, I don't think we get numb from that. I think we get numb because we haven't really appropriated, taken to heart, really embraced the emotions involved, either of betraying or being betrayed. Those experiences are initiations. They take us somewhere. The soul is affected by them, deeply, profoundly. And that effect remains forever. I would say even beyond one's life. Imagine it. Forever. With no hope of a cure.
Barbara DeAngelis
So many people ask me how can I heal. I've been hurt. ... It's so easy to say, “This guy ripped me off and I hate him and men are jerks”. But the truth is that if you got hurt, you co-operated in it. You allowed it. You ignored the warning signs. You didn't listen to the little voice that say that's not right. You gave up who you were to get something back. You may not have been conscious that you did it but you did it. Some part of you betrayed yourself.
So the healing that really needs to happen is between that part of you that sold you out and your heart. When you can truly take your power back by seeing how you got yourself in that situation, seeing how to stayed in it, seeing how you kept yourself in denial because it was more comfortable, seeing how you didn't listen to that inner voice, those warnings, then there's no need to learn to trust anyone else. You trust yourself. You make a commitment to yourself. I will never betray you again. I will never settle for less than I deserve.
Because you are on your own side. You are your own warrior, you are your own protector. So that's an understanding I really try to share with people. Because walking around with those emotional walls that say love hurts me is a real misunderstanding. Love never hurts you. It's not loving yourself that hurts you.
|
