We don't devolve the arts of sex very well. We think flirting has to always end up in a bedroom somewhere. Oh, why not just be flirtatious people. Why not, at any age enjoy our sexuality.
John Gray
One of the things that's so hard for women to understand is that there are certain differences and you can't change them. If you try to change them it will not work. And that basic difference is the man needs to be the pursuer. If you pursue a man more than he pursues you, he becomes the pursued and he loses touch with his ability to hunger for her, to want her, to be motivated to do things to get her. Men have to be driven, they have to find that there's a distance and I have to cross over that distance. I have to get to her. I have to win her over.
Now lots of times women say, “Oh, but that's just playing games, that's playing games, I have to play hard to get.” Don't play hard to get but realize what your standards are. Don't be so easy to get, that's all. Don't be to eager to please a man but let him come for you.
Erica Jong
I remember when it dawned on me that men were hunters and men had to pursue you. I was very old by the time I figured it out, and boy does it work. I don't approve of it, ideologically, but it works.
Let him chase you. I say to my daughter, “Let him miss you. Let him call you more than you call him, let him wonder where you are, when you're out in ... at night. Don't tell him everything you're doing.” And she used to criticize me and say that I was cynical and didn't know anything and I was out of touch with reality. And that's what she said to me two years ago. That things weren't like that anymore. People are honest now. And now she says, “You know, Mom, it really works.”
John Gray
Be pursuable. What do men pursue? They pursue a woman that they think they can make happy. So every time you give a message to a man that he could make you happy, that he could be of help, that he can be of service to you, that he can be your knight in shining armour to some extent, give him that message and he'll want to be it. And he'll pursue you.
But what happens is women give men the message of, “Oh, I can help you, and I'll do this for you”, and she's trying to help him, trying to win his love. Whenever you try to win a man's love, you lose it.
If you let him win your love, that's the secret, make it easy for men to be successful in fulfilling you, but don't easily run after him.
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